a letter to the one
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I'm gonna call you Nomad because the name sounds really cute, and as I said, you are wandering here and there in this world enjoying yourself at so damn cool places that you've totally forgotten about me. But hey, I'm not writing this letter to reproach you with anything, I just want to speak my mind in this peaceful Saturday.
Do you believe in the one
concept, Nomad? I do, but I'm not sure if you lay your trust on something like that because guys, you know, they simply think that what will come will come. And they may just jump from girl to girl trying to have a whale of a time before they actually grow up and have to do cooler things than love. I hope you ain't one of these. I do not like those who take relationships too serious that they don't let their girls any space to breath, but I don't dig those who consider love as a kind os risky game either. You lose money, your career, your things in a game, but you don't lose your heart. So don't play. Be honest and fair. Even if you don't realize that I'm your girl and accidentally fall in love with someone else, remember, honesty cannot be missing. I'm not asking too much of you, ain't I?
It's so crazy that your image in my head changes dramatically as I grow up. You used to be someone I thought I was deeply in love with, then you turned into that guy I held a secret love for, and then sometimes when I was not sober enough, I pictured you as a random celeb. I was so silly right? In the past whenever I thought of you, whatever crossed my mind was perfect. But now as life went on, it changed. I like flaws because it made you human and unique. Perfect people seem unreal and unreachable. Well, in other words, it's like I loved to buy hardcover books, but now I think paperbacks are nicer choice ^^
Do you think we ever met Nomad? I'm a typical silly teenage so I only pay attention when someone's extremely good-looking pass by, so I will probably be unable to recognize you the day you come to me. Are you tall or short? Are you friendly or indifferent? Are you a good student or an infamous fighter? I'm really curious but I won't hold my hope to high, if you're not a prince then I'm happy with a normal guy (it's not like princes ain't cool you get me?). You should feel the same way too because I'm not to special. People say beauty is skin deep but mine may be so deep that I searched and searched and searched but still have got no clues. I'm not pretty at all T.T (are you upset to hear about this?) and I'm not very interesting. The only thing I can be proud of is my studying, my love for books and novelling, and my skills at annoying people. So embarrassed huh? Oh and, one more thing, I can love you with all my heart with no shame and no holding back at all, does it count?
So when are you going to come? You'd better hurry up cos the life line in my palm is really short which means I cannot wait for you till forever. It'll be lying to say that I've no boyfriends but at no time have I been in a real relationship, you know, all the dating and stuff. Whenever I watch romance movies or books, I always imagine that I'm the main girl who is to go through all the good and bad experiences of love and even with that I feel so happy. Is it even cooler in real life? I'm sick and tired of crushes, I want to feel real love Nomad, the kind of love that's pure and beautiful. It ain't like the air your breath, but it becomes a part of your life that without it, you'll feel incomplete, like you have to brush your teeth at the beginning of the day or listen to some song you love before going to bed.
There's a lot of things I want to do with you Nomad. I want to say I love you
out loud everytime I feel like. I want to make lunch for you and put them in a pretty box so your friends will be jealous of you. I want to send letters to you day after day and receive the same love notes. I want to play the old swing thing where we stand on the same piece of wood with face to face and swing from side to side in the field. I want to read a book together with you and when the ending is so sad, I'll be able to lean on you to cry my heart out and afterwards, fall asleep with my head bury in your chest and your arms around me. I want to record the songs you like and give it to you on your birthday and have you smile all month even though my voice sucks like crazy. I want to do hundreds of love scrapbook and exchange them with you on our anniversary. I want to buy couple ipods and have our names engraved at the backs of them so the whole world knows we belong together. I want to help you get close to my dog so you can complain to him when I'm being unreasonable because you know you shouldn't bad-mouth me to anyone else. I want to see a tattoo in your chest - my name in some weird language that only we can read. I want to have my first kiss with you at the end of a snowy date - slow but sweet and caring all the way, and then when we part you'll wrap your scarf around my neck and I, in return, take off my beanie to cover your messy hair. I want to be with you when you're sad and say nothing because I only want you to know I'll be there no matter what. I'll hug you when you cry, and you know what, I have broad shoulders so you can lean on me if you wish to.
I'm very pessimistic at times. Unrequited love is my friend so having the one
to love and care for me is just like a dream. But for you, Nomad, and for myself, I won't stop believing. I'll wait patiently for you.
Come to me and let's fall in love.
-your the one.
Talk to me