fade away...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I talked to Phuong last night and she told me something I never ever expected. Khai cheated on her.

I didn't know how I should feel about this. It was plain shocking. Off any guys in this world, he was the last person I thought could do such a cruel thing. Where did that "obviously comes from a fiction" guy go to? Where is the guy who passed notes to her in class even though they just met two minutes earlier? Where is the guy who stayed sleepless all night just to fulfill her part in the group work cause she couldn't do that? Where is the guy who drove a long way to buy her favourite breakfast in the morning no matter how sleepy he was? Where is the guy who came to our class every single day just to stroke her hair? Where is the guy who only smiles cheerfully at no other girls but her? Where is the guy who cried when his mother prevented him from continuing to be together with her? Where is the guy whose face is brightened by the reference of her name?

It was so sad. I felt like the whole thing I built about him, the emotions, the pain, the feelings, everything meant nothing from that moment. In my eyes he was like someone so sacred that I could not touch, but then, he turned out to be so ordinary, even sickening. There's nothing wrong with your heart changing, with you falling in love with someone else but why lying bout it? Phuong was so great to hold it back when she read that lovey dovey message that girl sent him, if i had been in her shoes, I thought I couldn't have done anything other than bursting out crying. Five years is really something, esp when he promised to get married to her as soon as they've finished college, and I swear, not only Phuong but everyone believed it. So why did he do that? Why did he try to cover the secret with incessant lies? That was stupid. That was heartbroken. I'm so disappointed at him. A guy like him should have stood in front of her and say "I love someone else" instead of insisting things are fine when they're not. A guy like him should have apologizes to her rather than blaming her for being so childish and selfish. A guy like him should have done all the things he could to make her feel better. On the contrary, all he happened to give was denial and playing it down.

I'm sorry for Phuong. I'm sorry for myself. For we both are in love with a liar. I'm officially over him now. Over everything. I hope he'll realize someday that he has lost the best girl in this world when he looks back to his past with Phuong. I hope he'll be tortured by the same pain she's suffering. She deserves someone better. I deserve someone better, even if it's an one-sided love. Maybe not someone who seems perfect like him, but someone who loves us enough to know what we want is TRUE and TRUTHFUL love.


Thank God, I don't care anymore.

Talk to me


i'm thao or just call me amber if you want. i'm goofy, crazy and lovely, depends on which angle you look at me. Thanks for dropping by and don't be startled by my insanity..



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