Sunday, October 5, 2008
Can you tell me how it feels to be in love?
Because sometimes I think I love you so much that being heartbroken becomes a habit, yet sometimes I don't think I love you at all.
Many's the times I've wondered if I really love you, or I just love l o v e
Am I in love with you if I think about you every single second? Am I in love with you if the first thing that crosses my mind when I'm alone is your face? Am I in love with you if every sad love song reminds me of how we are? Am I in love with you if all the guys I see resemble you this way or that? Am I in love with you if every time I check a pen, I unconsciously scribble your name? Am I in love with you whenever I want to write about love, I end up writing about you? Am I in love with you if I wish that genuine smile were for me only? Am I in love with you that I pray someday you will stroke a hair and place a kiss on top of my head like you always do to her? Am I in love with you if my breath becomes rapid when you're next to me? Am I in love with you if your single "huh?" when I call your name makes me happy all week? Am I in love with you if I try my best to my task faster so that I can have a little bit more time to look at you? Am I in love with you if I always long for physics class because I know this is the only time I can see you up close? Am I in love with you if I feel like I'm lucky all day just by seeing you for one second in the morning? Am I in love with you if I jump like a baby for you say my palm looks like yours? Am I in love with you if I wanna plug my ears when they talk about you and her together? Am I in love with you when it's so hard to hold back tears when she tells me you say you miss her though she's next to you? Am I in love with you if I'm jealous of every girl you talk to? Am I in love with you if I only realize how nice my name is after you call it? Am I in love with you if you're the first one I tail like a stalker? Am I in love with you that all the entries about you, even this one, makes me feel so pathetic?
Am I in love? Am I? Or is it just that I want to be in love so bad that I force myself to think that I'm madly in love with you? Is it just because I don't have the heart to let go of these special feelings that I pretend not to be able to let go of you? Is it just because that I hate feeling alone and hopeless that I have to hold on to someone special? Is it just because you're so like those guys I love in fictions? Is it because you're the only one that I know I will NEVER have a chance to have?
There're so many things alike love in this world that we ordinary human cannot tell from the real one. I want to know it, I want to feel it, I want to experience it just once in my life, even if it's unrequited love. Can you show me what is love? Can you tell me why it feels so crazy to look into your eyes? Can you put into words how your heart throbs when some you love tell you they love you too? Can you help me figure out how the first kiss will taste upon my lips? Can you describe the feeling of being in the arms of your one and only love?
Or simpler, can you tell me if I'm really in love with you?
Talk to me